Ok. First of all I have to apologize. The blog, for an extended period of time basically died, when I promised it wouldn't. This is mostly due to drinking too much ( which leads to not remembering things, and feeling too hungover to move) and also the amount of random shite we done on the last few weeks of Alloway. At some point I may go back and talk about all that stuff, but for now, it's in the past.
As you're probably aware Alloway is done and dusted. All those mornings of waking up in another flat, all those afternoons of setting pumpkins on fire, playing xbox 360 all day and all those nights of hardcore drinking and jug chug are gone. I'm now residing in a flat in Whitehall street with Cameron, Chloe and Johnny Vee. The Alloway antics may be dead, but the drinking spirit is stronger than ever.
"This blog isn't going to be as action packed as the Alloway one Leggat you twat" I can hear you scream at your computer monitor, or if you're really cool; you're reading this off the Ps3 web browser. True, we may not play hammer darts here, but we do go on 3 day drinking binges. With no university, and nothing to get up for in the morning, nothing is better than getting very, very drunk.
And if you're still not convinced, I have a few ideas up my sleeve on how to excite this page. One being a live camera feed from the flat...
JOHNNY. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY SOON!
Ok first thing to start with is a small competition. As you're all aware i'm sure, it is under a month to Johnny Vee's birthday. Strippers? Hookers? Male strippers? There are simply too many choices as to how to best celebrate his 19th birthday. That's where you, the loving public (I.e Matt), come in. If you have any ideas on what to get/do/tell him on the big day, please, email The Flat 14 Blog. The best/most dangerous/doable idea shall win a very nice prize, along with their idea used on 11th September. Also, feel free to add the addy to any spambot lists you have, it really won't do anything...
Right, so that's the first thing out of the way. Expect something like that every week or so. Next. Remember the Flat 14 mascot Gordon the fish? Well this flat has its own mascot. He's a horse. Named ThunderHorse:
I'm sure you'll all get to know and love him over the coming weeks. Ok now that it's 3:30am I shall leave you with a taster of what will come in the next post:
Ring of Fire - a new drinking game we've adopted
The girls next door, one who has the hots for young Vee
How Matt got the nickname "Syruphands"
Who this guy is:
And, if any of you actually mail in ideas for Vee's birthday, some of the best so far. So until next time, where if I can steal someone's digital camera there will be lots of pictures, peace out.
Also, for anyone wondering, yes, 200 is still alive...
Well safe to say things at the flat have been noticeably quieter of late (especially this month hence only the second post this month – sorry to disappoint our hardcore fanbase/matt). Well flat football had taken centre-stage much to my annoyance while sleeping but to be fair it is quite funny when either Leggat or Cam get the football straight in the family jewels! I’m sure that happened twice in the same day so I lol’d more than a little, although running for the shower pretty much naked makes you a target...
Interesting to have Johnny V with us now (Hi Veeman). He now stays in Kenzie’s old room. And yes the smell has only just left.
Due to lack of moneys we haven’t been out together very much which is a shame but no doubt we’ll be out soon because we’re all due a night out (you know due to us working so hard at uni *sniggers*). Only the one night out together where it was Myself, Leggat, Veeman, Cam, Chloe, Deeman. Quite a quiet night except for us talking about getting drunk on cheese.
I would just like to point out that Mel has TWICE decided to try and sleep in my bed this month so far – one time she ended up with a penis drawn on her back with Nick saying ‘Guys I’d tell you to stop drawing it if it wasn’t so fucking funny’. So Mel can we call you Bell-end-back? It goes well with Mel....... Mel Bell End Back...
Then there was a bit of a break from nights out but 18 and khaled (is that how you spell ‘khaled’s name? HI KHALED) and nick from 16 who was incredibly obsessed with my pillow (like veeman) – I remember distinctly a quote from nick where jenna was like ‘NICK COME HERE’, Nick replied with ‘No – you come here!’ while lying on my pillow, ‘NICK COME HERE’, ‘NO you come here the pillows good’ – well done Nick. Because the foremost thing in Jenna’s drunken wee brain was of course how good my pillow is....
I’m sure Mel’s three words that she was drunkenly repeating was ‘Chips and cheese’. So picture Mel basically passed out on my Bed (this isn’t a sex story or anything... thats our different blog ;) ) and Nick tapping her on the shoulder ‘You alright?’....’Chips and Cheese’ without opening her eyes... this continued for a long time...’Chips and cheese’. So they ended up making cheesey pasta which inevitably got spilt onto DeeMan’s bed which I don’t think he was too chuffed about...
From a personal perspective I have been out on Friday and Saturday just gone (22nd and 23rd). The Friday night had Emma’s friend and sister Claire and Rachel, and carrie’s brother Darryl and friend Rodney over fae Northern Ireland (hello to our NORN IRON massif – so long as you are not too busy blowing holes in each other..) as well as the NORTHERN Irish crew (apparently its offensive to say Irish so I put emphasis on the Northern for you guys – I mean I didn’t really care but I’m not taking the risk of getting car bombed) Deeman’s lady-friend Kirst came down fae Aberdeen. Nah I probably shouldn’t joke about that – but nah all joking aside everyone who came out on Friday you guys were great fun so Kudos to you. Was a good night with plenty drink – I remember trying to get a taxi with DeeMan in Dundee. Since Deeman found one that was already half-way through picking up some random lassies with the girls noticing out Jonny trying to get it they shouted ‘Wait your turn!’. Jonny simply stopped any movement, paused, then casually stuck the middle finger up which made me laugh – not as much as Jonny standing in the middle of a deserted street to say ‘This will get a taxi’ at that he dropped his breeks tae his knees – just at that point a taxi zoomed round the corner..... When I said flag a taxi down Jonny I didn’t mean with your......
Needing the toilet SOOO desperately but being in a taxi trying to give the driver the right amount of change ... actually the worst thing ever! I think I was outside for roughly half an hour just letting it all out.. anyways
And Kirst if you are reading this DONT TAKE POOL SO SERIOUSLY. ‘FINLAY HIT THE BALL HERE, like just HERE’ , ‘ok, ok-‘Just this side of the ball’,’ ALRIGHT alright a got you’. Haha nah you were good fun until you potted the white along with black ;) .
Saturday we all went out which was with the 13 guys and flat 1 lads so the banter was all good although the football at like 4am got me extremely muddy.
FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ... a comment at the bottom If I have missed out some great Alloway banter, looking at 17, 15, 18 and 1 and whoever the hell else we have spoken to lately or been out with..
P.S. Gordo – we didn’t break anything :D..... *Leggat places Hoover in front of hole in door*
Although Deeman did manage to bugger up playing flat football off a ligh-I said nothing.
QUOTE OF THE MONTH from Leggat. Me ‘ Theres rakes of explosions and German shouting coming from Graham’s room’, Leggat “Ye that’ll be him and Sian”
... Call of Duty 2...
Apparently we have to dress up as action-men if we go out for Ainsleys birthday.... hence the name – ye so what I couldn’t think of a name for the title....
There's still loads of random shit which needs told, but that will be saved for when the blog is running dry. Apologes for the space between this blog and the last, to make up for it I will do a blog this weekend full of random stuff that has happened along with pictures and videos. Oh yes. Bet you can't wait now.
Well I'm sitting writing this as there seems to be a drunken riot in the communial area - sadly I'm too sober to take part so I thought I'd write this instead - great idea Leggmiester! So, a week or so since the last blog, what has happened?...
A week ago was Kenzie's last day - an easy excuse for lots of alcohol! We all went to Tesco (courtesy of Cameron's "awesome" driving) and decided to spend a little bit of money on b00ze. I bought some black vodka (which I’d like to point out goes green when you mix it with lemonade - and makes your morning shits the same colour), Cam bought some vodka, Johnny Veeeee the same, Jonny Deeeee was on the cheapo cider and Kenz was on the cheaaaaaaap champagne. Let the night begin.
How many points for the fridge?
We started playing the "to" drinking game - whenever someone says "to" you take a drink. They say the number "2" and that's 2 drinks. They say "200" - you down what you have left. Hardcore. After a little while of this, Johnny V started to do his typical slowly falling over routine - he was starting to get drunk. Kenz barely touched his champagne, even though this whole shin dig was in memory of him. Oh well.
After a while, and many "twoooooooooo!" drinks later and everyone was at that good stage of drunkenness. You know, the one where you just want to do "stuff". Up to flat 18 it was! For some reason, that I really can't remember now we decided to steal EVERYTHING from their flat. Some of the things we stole included:
Kettle
Microwave
Mattress
Drawers of cutlery
There was much more than this stolen, but I shan't go into details... We also done some flat rugby - Jonny Dee and Finlay both in their kilts for this, very sexy. Then it pretty much blanked out for a while, but I did wake up in Flat 18 the next morning.
Breakfast pl0x?
Waking up in Flat 18, I decided to get Cam up and have some breakfast - so we did! Using Jenna’s cereal, milk, bowls and spoons (rewarding us with points for using other people's stuff) we had a cracking breakfast. Next, we invited Johnny Dee up and decided to bring a telly with us - for some entertaining afternoon Tv. We basically sat there for most of the day - when 18 (well I say 18, I mean Andrea, Jenna and Mel) finally got up they sat around and watched Tv, then demanded that Cam drive them to Tesco. So he did. Later on in the night we went to see Cloverfield. Very good I must say.
HE CAN'T DIE! THE WORLD IS CRUEL TO A FISH LIKE YOU!
RIP Gordon
Gordon. Is dead. Not the caretaker (who has been mysteriously nice to us...) but the loveable fish. He will be remembered.
For the next section, I shall let Finlay tell the tale, since he has more sober memories than I have of it...
Aye fucking right – lets rely on finners to tell the story.
Erm I the only bits I remember from the other Friday was pretty much destroying 18’s fridge freezer…. Ye but apparently when drunk with my kilt on I got their hoover out and did some drunk hovering.. Now I tell you this in the confidence that you will still keep up your respect however small for me. I mean wanting to get laid is something when your drunk (eh, Johnny V – repeatedly asking Mel “Would you have sex with me?”, then him maintaining that he said ‘Would’ and not ‘Will’…… that makes it ok then Veeman. BUT I decided to clean when I was drunk (all the folk who suspected I might be gay sitting thinking “Yes I fucking told you”). The flat rugby was good again that night of what I can remember especially had to laugh at poor Claire in 15 who pretty much literally jamp…jumped….jamp? fuck off jamp….. and she JAMP out the way.
Johnny Vee after asking Mel some drunken questions
BUT forward a week, to last night (the Friday after the one I’m describing above) and we decided to have a ‘quiet drink’, which Wu Tang conveniently pointed out ‘We NEVER go out for a quiet drink we always say we will but we just end up getting smashed’ and yes yes its true the student life stereotype is too strong to dismiss. So lets see….
Last night, last night (hold on……..sorry In all those dots I went for a poo – which is actually the second this afternoon…. Nice) well if Im going to tell this in a good story telling way then I have to first set the scene (thank you Primary seven)…
It was Veeman, Deeman, Leggmeister, Myself (F Diddy), Wu Tang and HIS HOE!!! Chloe.. sorry Chloe I love you but your at the end of a rapper stereotype for now. So we all started at lounge bar which was quite quiet although I remember talking to Leggat and Veeman about getting drunk on cheese because of ‘a shot of edam’ and a ‘double cheddar please mate’ – ok good so far. Then we moved on up to the sports bar which was good I remember Veeman being the most drunk repeatedly saying in a very surprised voice ’13 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER!’. Suuure Johnny V, 13…… ironically there Veeman has moved into our flat into Kenzie’s old room just so you know :D . Also saw ‘Rich’ who is a friend of my friend Mike and we all remember him for doing a distinctly nasty dirty pint, he did well (not last night – aages ago). I had my glasses on last night but usually wear contacts so when I said ‘Hi Rich’ he looked at me trying to figure out who I was – you know the face that you’d make if you saw a posh person fart – well he had it on… 10 minutes later “Oh Finlay! I remember now…”
Can’t really remember what happened after that although we went back to the flat and I forgot to say Matt and Craig from flat 1 were with us…. Duh finners. I remember having a very strong argument with them two about the fact you should ‘SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM’ which incidentally I apparently ALWAYS talk to taxi drivers about – our taxi driver last night I remember being good banter so kudos to him. Then the talk escalated into us actually going outside at like 4am to play ‘football’ although I don’t think you could have called it that. We also threw a lot of Veeman’s Bout it really but a good night nonetheless – me and Leggat will post up again soon.
LOVE YOU GUYS WHO READ THIS COS YOU MUST BE BORED AND WHOEVER GOT THE 200TH VIEWING JUST POST IN AND WE’LL E-MAIL YOU YOUR CAKE…
Below is a video of Veeman lying on Deeman’s bed (Deeman had gone to the bog AND Veeman crept into his room without him knowing)….. Enjoy…. It is funny as fuck…
Well there's January gone, a very controversial month to be honest – some of it we will not be publishing due to legal reasons... I thought we’d do like a running commentary for a summary of the month, again some of it we will not go into even under threat of torture.
Leggat : Meow
Finlay : well some month, what you think?
Leggat : It's been interesting to say the least...
Finlay : yes - some goings on will not be discussed
Finlay : although im sure you will post up me running headlong naked into our dishwasher
Leggat : That will be posted when i can find a video convereter and my phone wire
Finlay : fantastic........ well this was when johnny v got addicted to GH
Finlay : this month
Leggat : He really can't go a day without trying to do Dragonforce
Leggat : Which he's still to do....
Finlay : lol expecting johnny v to be at the door now (ring)haha
Leggat : He actually starts to twitch if he doesn't play it
Finlay : i noticed that
Finlay : very subtle tho
Leggat : Try telling him Billy sold it without getting a swift punch/him crying on your shoulder
Finlay : thats a mission
Finlay : what else happened this month? well - we had that fucking wicked night at fat sams
Finlay : best night ever fact
Leggat : Defo, even better with the banter back at the flat
Finlay : it was gone?
Leggat : Not at all. From too much alcohol consumption, i can't actually remember what happened back at the flat, but i woke up in one piece so it must have been good...
Finlay : yeah well you dont wanna wake up and your arse is still in the kitchen
Leggat : i've passed out on the chairs in the communial area a few times
Finlay : lol ye - that time u left the music on at like 5am
Finlay : what was the situation about santa sending u to a room that didnt exist?
Leggat : It was actually a test - would i walk around like a drunken idiot? Or would i pass the test and go back to the union to drink more...
Leggat : I passed :)
Finlay : dont forget our flat inspection
Finlay : eh gordon
Leggat : Yeah, failure. He did a grand job of taking the bins out
Leggat : Every week
Finlay : lol
Leggat : On time
Finlay : dont forget cams best excuse for NOT getting out of bed
Finlay : what i dont understand is how did he know about the roofs? I mean he must have got up out of his bed to do the research
An actual picture of the weather. Through Cam's eyes.
Leggat : Apparently he had the Tv on, and his mother phoned to make sure he hadn't been gored by some flying debris
Leggat : Kudos to him for using that excuse
Finlay : lol is that true
Finlay : fuck sake
Finlay : my mum wouldnt phone me to see if a tile off a roof had decapatated me
Leggat : Well Cam's mum loves her son
Leggat : And roofs
Finlay : obviously, imagine "Oh my cam have you been hit by a roof?" "No im fine" "I dont care about you, is the roof ok"?
Leggat : Haha, sounds like it would have happen
Leggat : Even if a roof hit my bedroom, i'd think the noise was just Cam having some dirty sex
Finlay : oh ye - probably was, or imagine *knock*"Cam is having sex", cam then walks out "Nah its just the roofs..."
Finlay : rooves
Finlay : how do u say plural roofs?
Leggat : Roofs
Leggat : It's not like loaves
Finlay : {VeeMan has just entered the room}
Finlay : and howzibit (who has shunned his nickname and wants it back to Howster) got drunk off a shot
Finlay : haha u sneezed
Leggat : Yeah "Apple sourz" goes straight to his head it seems...
Leggat : I did that
Leggat : Yum
Finlay : lol i had to laugh when u went upto 18 and came back with golden high heels
Finlay : i was like 'leggat you really give them back' so you posted one through the letterbox
Leggat : I thought they went well with my mullet
Leggat : And it's an insult that i managed to fit in them...
Finlay : then u passed out with one on
Leggat : I thought i had got lucky when i woke up and saw it
Finlay : {Cam has gone for dirty sex}
Finlay : lol
Finlay : maybe u did........with a shoe
Leggat : :D Finlay : also what else happened - oh ye i tried to do work then ended up blogging (is that a word?)
Leggat : Probably, just don't get sued
Leggat : You also asked Cam to "Lick ma shirt pleez""
Finlay : and cam took away has mattress to swap with tobys and we saw he had broken his bed probably due to dirty chloe sex
Leggat : Yeah, Toby's mattress wouldn't be much better
Leggat : Ireland
Finlay : and now the monumental occassion of chloe being mentioned for the first time in this blog (hi chloe)
Leggat : :)
Finlay : she wont have a big roll in this unless its, oh ye cams dirty sex partner
Finlay : and tobys in ireland...... thats weird
Leggat : Yeah, i got a shock today when i said "Hey, Toby, where are you off to?" Thinking he was going to the shops and he replied in his super suave james Bond accent
Leggat : "Ireland"
Finlay : its getting fistingly serious those two, eh?
Finlay : i mean very
Leggat : Yeah, hand in the bush
Finlay : man we should probably mention at this point about graham running straight into the airing cupboard (although it was in like november but since he's leaving might as well give him his big mention)
Leggat : It wasn't just one door
Leggat : But many
Leggat : That video Cam has needs uploaded...
Finlay : oh ye
Finlay : lol and remember the time i called sam fat
Finlay : lol fat sams
Leggat : Obese SAMuel eh?
Lovely Sam, not to scale...
Leggat : She always hits the munchies
Finlay : lol what was it again "I love a good bakery" "Aye, I a bet you do"
Finlay : was that what i said?
DISSCONNECTION OF MSN ARRRRRRRRRRRGHH!!
Finlay : fuckin msn lol
Leggat : I blame Kenz
Finlay : we all do, where were we
Leggat : Pretty much, followed by a drunken laugh then a "lay down on the floor" because "We couldnt push you over then"
Finlay : oh aye
Leggat : You have a tendency to lay down on the floor now
Leggat : Especially after smacking into a dishwasher
Finlay : moving on
Finlay : kenz decision to leave us this month
Leggat : Yes that was a bit of a suprise, but will make little diffrerence
Leggat : I will mis the amount of beard in this flat though
Finlay : ......really i wont
Finlay : get into the feckin shower and its like a bear has been murdered
A polar bear peeing. Shower + bear + google image search = this pic
Leggat : Hahaha oh dar
Leggat : +e
Finlay : lol what
Leggat : Meow mostly
Leggat : Anyhoo...
Finlay : and well february should be good with usd inventing flat olympics
Leggat : I'll be doing my hardcore training for it of course
Leggat : By running around naked
Finlay : sound i wont join u but after last night i can make that promise
Finlay : cant*
Leggat : Oo "Typo"
Leggat : Naked boy
Finlay : well for those of u reading this - we invented flat rugby
Finlay : leggat would u like to explain
Leggat : Yes
Leggat : Yes I would
Leggat : Basically, ring a door of a flat, with a rugby ball discreetly hidden. When they answer the door say something then shout "FLAT RUUUUGBY" then proceed to run right down their corridor and out the fire exit while throwing a rugby ball to each other
Leggat : Simple
Finlay : and there it is our flat summed up in like a sentence
Leggat : I must say it's rather fun
Leggat : All trust we had with some flats are now gone
Leggat : Except 18, we gave them a cake
Leggat : Postman Pat cake
Finlay : yes (serious face)
Leggat : You just farted and it reeeeeeks
Leggat : Seriously, what the hell died in your arse
Finlay : but i think when do the olympics will be funny.
Finlay : wanna explain?
Finlay : lol
Leggat : Hohoho, serious stuff
Leggat : It's a basic point system, where they are awarded for doing random things to other flats. for example "Finlay, I will give you 10 points to go trade our toaster with Flat 18's" ....You would then do it
Leggat : Even simpler
Finlay : and thats what february will have in store for alloway
Finlay : imagine anyone in alloway reading this
Leggat : Jesus, they'd love it
Finlay : board up our fucking door and only open it if you have a baseball bat
This blog is also from F Diddy, and shows some random banter that happens in le flat. Enjoy.
Randomness
F Diddy’s Inner Monologue
(sigh) Am I meant to be working? Yes in a way... Ok re-phrase this – Should you be doing a 1500 word essay for tomorrow? Erm, I haven’t started. But you’re doing the flat 14 blog instead? ................ Ya......... Goood, good start. Well went out last night was generally shite. Didnt bother going to my 9-11 classes either (So I haven’t actually been to any business context classes yet and there has been about 6 hours worth). My feet hurt. I like to listen to music when in the shower which was initially shunned as the retard shower is now THE shower of the flat due to me actually trying the thing – turns out its awesome. So it’s all good on the shower front because I know your all thinking – F Diddy what’s the crack with the showers in your flats? And yes my feet still hurt. Why? I dunno. Back to the initial point I use my phone to play tunes while I’m scrubbing away. I got it wet – it stopped working (white screen), fantastic!
So with means of communication severed for my usual Wednesday night out losing everyone in fatties is like the worst thing to do. Yeah I lost Johnny and couldn’t find anyone. So after a nice guy letting me go in front of him to get a drink I downed a blue VK and came to the conclusion to go home. Apparently I had been mean to lovely Sam and 17 Claire so if you’re reading sorry lol lol. Lol.
Anywayses, I just thought I’d put in a blog so it means I get another 20 mins of doing my essay and I can keep you lovely folk all updated (as a matter of fact who the fuck reads this shit?) it’s awesome eh? Oh here’s a video and picture of Cam changing his mattress with Toby’s while he was away with Janine
It actually tailed off to ramming Kenzie with the mattresses. There is now an ongoing joke of Kenzie not being fed, and such like so any donations please feel free:
Now I’m thinking how can people donate food over the phone? Don’t donate money because he’ll just spend it on something really shite, like more hair. I keep telling him he’s got enough but he’s spoil that boy. Spoilt I tell ya. I also thought in this, what can only be described as ‘bitty’ blog, I would tell the flat 14 fanatical readers who’s who:
Room 1: Johnny (J Dizzle)
Room 2: Finlay (Me, F Diddy)
Room 3: Cam(eron) (Wu Tang Cam)
Room 4: Graham (Howzibit)
Room 5: Leggat (Leggmeister, J to the M Bob)
Room 6: Kenzie (Grandmaster Kenz)
Room 7: Billy (Fuck knows Billy’s rapper’s name I think he was off when we did it)
This blog is a little different. It's a guest publication from F Diddy, as I was too messed up to remember what happened, let alone write about it. So here was last night:
One shot, One golden shoe and a fat face please
So I decided to take a wee chill out of drinking tonight with the view to catching up with sleep (currently 3:40am). But, oh yes bless my flatmates for turning up drunk :D. It wasn’t a problem though – because I was well awake. As a matter of fact I think it is a subconscious reaction to knowing flatmates are out getting drunk – just don’t go to bed (you miss out on the good banter).
I had earlier been up at flat 15 watching a few films with the lovely company of Collette and Claire (although a women’s perspective of films is usually utter pish. Clair and Collette being the loyal lassies they were they continued the trend of poor reaction to films, but I could live with it). When I wandered back down I heard the door opening with the inevitable drunken gibberish – Howzibit had returned in spectacular fashion. Spectacular? I meant Peculiar.
It turns out ‘I got drunk’ and that, and I quote ‘I got a taxi back’ – the true story I found out later was that Cam and Leggat who usually have some drink entailed trick up there sleeve for some poor victim had said to Howzibit to have some ’Apple Sourz’, Lo and behold it was Absinthe of the mere 75%. Howzibit being the hardcore drinker he was had managed to wait a whole 50 mins before starting to fall asleep, the bouncer on numerous occasions warning them to keep him awake. One thing led to another and Howzibit was thrown into a taxi with a destination told to the taxi driver and the grand total of £7 was given to the driver to take him home (lucky he wasn’t gay) . Surprisingly the taxi driver hadn’t decided to take advantage of our Howzibit by using an alternative route (yes, innuendo people).
Howzibit passed out, taken by Leggat.
After some cursing and swearing and a kick of a wall and walking into flat 17’s ironing board, off Howzibit went to bed.
When the others returned (Leggat, Veeman and Jamie (flat 1)) they were all a fallin’ and a laughin’. Randomness ensued – Highlights were: Leggat responding to everyone’s talking with ‘your face’. Veeman lying on my bed, with one drunken hand he had felt a box under the bed (my dirty washing), opened, and noticed my boxers with fat face written across the waist. He pointed at them and laughing loudly repeated the word ‘fat face’. After a quick nap on my bed (photo here I think).
Done :)
J Dizzle told them that there was Guitar Hero waiting in flat 18 (the poor lassies who have probably never heard of GH). (True - they thought it was something to do with them borrowing the Wii the other night - Leggat.) Leggat somehow instead of completing a dragonforce solo managed to walk in with a pair of golden high-heels. Deciding that this was all a bit harsh in true Leggat style he agreed to post one of the high heels back through the letterbox.
Veeman was missing – looking over at Flat 1 we realised they were frantically trying to close windows and curtains and any flat orifice that they had, there was Veeman in a very puppy dog trying to get upon a couch manor, trying to get into their flat (some drunk like food, some water, some more booze but Veeman wants GH). With the lure of GH he had wandered over with puppy-dog eyes out and a wagging tail to get GH. Eventually they let him in. Leggat then decided to fall asleep in the common room area with one of the golden high heels on and boxers roughly up to his nipples and trousers at his knees.
And that was that. Feeling for Leggat possibly not being to blog this due to a hangover I felt responsibility of blogging tonight’s minor shenanigans.....
And that was F Diddy's view of last night, very funny I must say. Thanking you F Diddy.
I have a digital camera now, so this blog contains exciting pictures of the day. Go me.
Flying debris?!
Now Wu-Tang Cam has had some pretty good excuses for not going into uni before, but todays has to be the best yet. I woke up to see Beard was already up for once, that was good. I chap Wu-tang's door to no reply again, and head for the kitchen. The cleaner is in, so i can't do my usual morning jog around the communial area without looking like some sort of werido so I just head back to my room for some warmth before I have to go outside into the bitter cold. I check my phone and see I have a text from Cameron reading:
"You seen the weather roofs of buildings comin down in Dundee aye right am I going out in that"
So essentially; he's scared to get hit by a roof. And to use punctuation. If a roof was to crash into the bus on the way to Uni, that would literally be the most exciting thing which has ever happened to me, and would make this blog a hell of a lot more interesting. And to prove Cam wrong I even took a picture of a roof, which was not off:
That roof is firmly attached Wu-Tang you lazy sod.
What, no roofs?
The bus journey to uni was rather unexciting. No roofs, debris or even old people blowing about. Two hours of programming, then it was time to hit the union with a vengeance. Jaeger bombs anyone? Lo and behold Wu-Tang Cam hadn't got hit by a roof and had managed to make it to the union. Lucky boy. After some munch it was time for le Jaeger bombs, so we headed up to the sports bar. Howzibit and his lady friend also joined us then, me and VeeMan promptly introduced him to a Jaeger bomb. This picture shows the aftermath of several hours drinking:
I'm really getting into this picture taking. As you can see, Veeman is slowly dying in the background there.
We also started doing that stupid thing where you put your index finger and thumb into a ring, put it under your waist and try to make someone else look at it. This game annoys me. Every time someone says my name, i automatically assume they are going to do this to me, so I tend to look away or not answer. But after double figure amounts of Jager bombs (i'm really advertising them in this blog...) it's hard not to look. which results in a swift punch to the arm. The upside being you're too drunk to feel it, but in the morning it's a bitch. No more of this stupid game. Please.
Obese Samuel's
The plan after being at the union for about 60% of the day, was to head out to Fat Sam's and get wasted. Good plan. So back at the flat ( in one piece without getting hit by any roofs) everyone started to get ready for going out. F Diddy wanted to iron his fancy clothes for the night, and opened the airing cupboard to find the ironing board in several pieces. He placed it in the shower, obviously the best place to put it, then went to Flat 17 to borrow a board. Some hardXcore ironing later and we were good to go. Flat 6 and Flat 15 also turned up at the union, and we got some drinks in with them. Then the inevitable happened. the place had run dry of Jagermiester from the amount that we had drank during the afternoon. I resorted to shots.
A few (many) shots and then it was time to actually go to Fat Sam's. The details get a bit fuzzy here, but i remember talking to VeeMan and Ross for a while, then later saw J dizzle sitting on the stairs, trying not to spew. Luckily he didn't. I bought VeeMan more shots, danced for a bit then headed back to the flats. More st00f obviously happened in this time, but after having drank the place dry of red aftershock (which i'm starting to grow quite fond of) It's hard to remember things - hence the camera.
This blog is a little late, but I spent all day Thursday in bed suffering from death and smelling of drink. Which isn't unusual.
I leave you all with this picture . I now get to punch you. Stupid game...
Yet another morning where I have to get up for uni. I have a bad habit of switching my alarm off and going back to sleep, so this morning as soon as I woke up I turned iTunes on and lay back down - the music would keep me awake enough not to fall back into a deep sleep. And what song comes on second on random? Dragonforce. As if dreaming of it (after watching VeeMan play it for hours on end) wasn't enough. The usual lap of the kitchen was next, it was a bit more messy than the previous day, but still bearable. Zordon, master of the universe bin still hadn't been to inspect us ( any bet he will come and check just after we have a raging party and the place is a tip.) Next thing to do was wake Wu-Tang Cam. BANG BANG BANG.
... ... ...
"Wu-Tang. Time to get up and stab a horse." Words like that usually get him flying out of the room, except when he is having weird sex of course, but it didn't seem to work today. Beard was next to waken, much easier to do. I have to be careful hitting his door though, a misdirected sneeze and the door is sure to fly off the hinges crushing the poor soul behind it. He half hearted answers and then i try Wu-Tang Cam again. Still no answer, lazy bugger, I can clearly hear him moving about but I decide if he's not going in, i'm not going in either. Guitar hero time it is then. I obviously invite the VeeMan up for an early morning solo.
Black marks, Star Wars and the mystery of room 1553
Standing at the bus stop i couldn't help but notice a black mark on my right hand, on the knuckle of my index finger and thumb. Ok, I'll wipe it off. Simple. But the thing that got me was where the hell did it come from. I checked my pen - nope. In my pocket? Fluff. I check my pen again - definitely not. Bastard. Where did it come from? I check my pen another 5 times on the bus an come to the conclusion it wasn't my pen. Probably.
Why does it seem like the fattest, slowest walkers in the world always end up in front of you?And there's always three of them. Just enough to take up the pavement, and makes going around them bloody hard since they don't walk in a straight line - they sway back and forth which would easily knock anything trying to pass them over. Yes, I got stuck behind some of them. Yes, I got annoyed. Did i do anything? No.
After having walked at a stupidly slow speed me, VeeMan and Beard managed to find the lecture room for today. Even walking slower than anything, ever, we still managed to arrive 20 minutes early, so we go in and take a seat. VeeMan farts. I draw a picture of him. Beard sits with his face plunged into the table. Exciting. Eventually people start to come in, so i try to look like a brainbox and take out my pen ( I check it for ink spillage; there's still none) and notepad. Then put them away when even more people come in.
The lecture man looked like the local drug dealer. He started his slide show with Star War sounds. He showed us a video of a cartoon dinosaur farting. He showed us a picture of him re-enacting Star Wars in his freezer. He IS the local drug dealer, and has obviously been taking too much of his own product. It's going to be one hell of a semester with this guy.After the, what can only be described as a once in a lifetime, lecture we head to the union for a few drinks before our class in an hour. The thing is, with VeeMan a few drinks is never just "a few drinks".
4 Jager bombs later we feel confident enough to head for out next class and decide to head for room 1553. It took us 20 mins of "it must be this way" before we decided to head back to the union. The lecturer (Santa) was clearly just making up a room, to see how twattish we looked. Well Santa; we looked VERY twattish.
"Want to go for a double coke?"
Figuring that Santa had set some sort of stupid challenge, where finding out the room doesn't exist was the point of the lecture, I suggested we go for a "double coke". Everyone agreed, except Beard. Drink makes his beard go funny.
Many Jager bombs later, and some interesting discussion (like Johnny admitting his mum's face looked like a brake pad) we started to go home. I would have wrote much more for this section, but the jager bombs were plentiful and i'm sure i've forgotten some well good banter.
Back to being a Hero
GUITAR HERO?! Yes, we played it again. Yes, VeeMan kicked the shit out of everyone and everything. He even got a 500 not streak and was happy about it. I think we play that game too much
I think that is all that happened today which is worth noting. I shall leave you all with a picture of a Cool pillow
Well here it is. The flat 14 blog. I've decided (as some sort of New Years resolution) to keep a blog of all the "crazy" shenanigans of 8 students living together. Other than sharing the rather random and funny stuff which happens here, it will also provide certain individuals more insight of what happened the night before. Let's begin with:
7th January 2008...
Zordon, saviour of IKEA
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Zordon had warned us of a flat inspection today so the kitchen had actually been cleaned spotless for once, a nice sight when you wake up not hungover, but as per usual Zordon the caretaker had once again failed to keep to his, very slurred, word and only came in to change the bins like he does every other Monday of the year. Exciting part of his life I'm sure. Now the only reason I had been up to see the kitchen looking like some sort of IKEA show room kitchen ( must say I like this one a lot) was because today university had started again. I had almost forgot this was the reason I was living in beautiful student accommodation.
Yawn
F Diddy was also around at this point, flaunting off his legs by wearing boxers around the flat hall before jumping into a shower (which the lock on the door is broken, for unknown reasons. Another reason for Zordon to swear at us if he can stop taking bins out for 2 minutes and give us an inspection.) After doing a quick lap of the kitchen i came to the conclusion I couldn't be arsed making a cup of tea, since that would mean the kitchen automatically going back to looking like a bombsite. Deciding that Wu-Tang Cam wasn't having some sort of weird sex, I knocked on his door (in the fashion of Zordon of course) to wake him up. Luckily he wasn't having sex and got out of bed. A day of Uni happened...
Yellow, blue, green, red, red, red.....
BDawg had left his room open, so it was obvious I played Guitar Hero 3 for a good while. A good while and some sore fingers later he had came back, so time to invade someone else with a 360's room - Beard's! Even if he locked his door, since it has no panel down the side (Zordon REALLY won't be pleased with the inspection. Probably why he's living as a bin man for a while) so it's easy enough to open. He didn't lock it. Another 3 hours of Guitar Hero, and my life, down it was time for the daily booze cr00ze to Asda to stock up on vodka. After buying enough vodka to make a Russian man wealthy (in soviet Russia, vodka drink you!) it was time to awaken The VeeMan. Uttering the words "Guitar Hero" and "Vodka" through his door was enough to get him out of bed. It usually is.
JohnnyVForce Now there is something you must understand about the VeeMan before the next section makes sense. He LIVES for Guitar Hero. He sees the world as being one big solo that he MUST perfect. Dragonforce, being arguably the hardest song in the game, is to him what Allah is to Muslims. Except he doesn't blow cars up for it. Yet. Anyway, after he shows me that using a controller (no matter how much time you spend sitting in one position on Beard's bed hitting buttons) will never even make him falter - he takes his "mad skillz" online. You have to love the people online (missing out the irony that I am a person online here) and some of the antics. "HULKSTERDAVE" wants to play. He leaves. More try to play, they leave. VeeMan finally finds an opponent, and after screaming "DRAGONFORCE!?!?!?" jumps into his GH mode. I wander about at this point as I've already heard the song a good 10 times today , but arrive back to see VeeMan isn't the best in the world ever. He cries a little and goes straight back in, this time with a headset to annoy the people of the interwebz by shouting "200!?" ( An inside joke which i will explain in some blog at some point since it is much funnier when not explained.) After having beat the poor person, who must be completely confused at this point why random numbers are being shouted at him, it becomes apparent through the magixxxx of xbox achievement points the person VeeMan has just demolished is a creator of the game. VeeMan's life is now complete.
And THAT would be 8th January. Not as much drinking as i would have liked, but Wu Tang Cam likes sex more than drink, so fair do's to him. Hopefully there shall be another bloggo soon, and i can actually think of something interesting to write (with more pictures).
“ 200” billy "saaaaaaapnen beautifuls" mel "2!" everyone "scotland were pish" finlay "j'mappelle horse"leggat "you come here the pillows gid!" nick "i have no reason to fall over" cam "dont bang my guitar its a virgin" graham -finlay "did you just take a bite out of a sponge?" -billy "yes" "jenna get out the fridge" heidi "do you want me to call you an ambulanc-oh i got a message" jenna "Naw" finlay "grilled ehmtwich" johnny V "strongbow" toby "why have i got a fucking lightswitch?" russell
