The last week, but also the first

A week and 200

Well I'm sitting writing this as there seems to be a drunken riot in the communial area - sadly I'm too sober to take part so I thought I'd write this instead - great idea Leggmiester! So, a week or so since the last blog, what has happened?...

A week ago was Kenzie's last day - an easy excuse for lots of alcohol! We all went to Tesco (courtesy of Cameron's "awesome" driving) and decided to spend a little bit of money on b00ze. I bought some black vodka (which I’d like to point out goes green when you mix it with lemonade - and makes your morning shits the same colour), Cam bought some vodka, Johnny Veeeee the same, Jonny Deeeee was on the cheapo cider and Kenz was on the cheaaaaaaap champagne. Let the night begin.

How many points for the fridge?

We started playing the "to" drinking game - whenever someone says "to" you take a drink. They say the number "2" and that's 2 drinks. They say "200" - you down what you have left. Hardcore. After a little while of this, Johnny V started to do his typical slowly falling over routine - he was starting to get drunk. Kenz barely touched his champagne, even though this whole shin dig was in memory of him. Oh well.

After a while, and many "twoooooooooo!" drinks later and everyone was at that good stage of drunkenness. You know, the one where you just want to do "stuff". Up to flat 18 it was! For some reason, that I really can't remember now we decided to steal EVERYTHING from their flat. Some of the things we stole included:

Kettle

Microwave

Mattress

Drawers of cutlery

There was much more than this stolen, but I shan't go into details... We also done some flat rugby - Jonny Dee and Finlay both in their kilts for this, very sexy. Then it pretty much blanked out for a while, but I did wake up in Flat 18 the next morning.

Breakfast pl0x?

Waking up in Flat 18, I decided to get Cam up and have some breakfast - so we did! Using Jenna’s cereal, milk, bowls and spoons (rewarding us with points for using other people's stuff) we had a cracking breakfast. Next, we invited Johnny Dee up and decided to bring a telly with us - for some entertaining afternoon Tv. We basically sat there for most of the day - when 18 (well I say 18, I mean Andrea, Jenna and Mel) finally got up they sat around and watched Tv, then demanded that Cam drive them to Tesco. So he did. Later on in the night we went to see Cloverfield. Very good I must say.

HE CAN'T DIE! THE WORLD IS CRUEL TO A FISH LIKE YOU!

RIP Gordon

Gordon. Is dead. Not the caretaker (who has been mysteriously nice to us...) but the loveable fish. He will be remembered.

For the next section, I shall let Finlay tell the tale, since he has more sober memories than I have of it...

Aye fucking right – lets rely on finners to tell the story.

Erm I the only bits I remember from the other Friday was pretty much destroying 18’s fridge freezer…. Ye but apparently when drunk with my kilt on I got their hoover out and did some drunk hovering.. Now I tell you this in the confidence that you will still keep up your respect however small for me. I mean wanting to get laid is something when your drunk (eh, Johnny V – repeatedly asking Mel “Would you have sex with me?”, then him maintaining that he said ‘Would’ and not ‘Will’…… that makes it ok then Veeman. BUT I decided to clean when I was drunk (all the folk who suspected I might be gay sitting thinking “Yes I fucking told you”). The flat rugby was good again that night of what I can remember especially had to laugh at poor Claire in 15 who pretty much literally jamp…jumped….jamp? fuck off jamp….. and she JAMP out the way.

Johnny Vee after asking Mel some drunken questions

BUT forward a week, to last night (the Friday after the one I’m describing above) and we decided to have a ‘quiet drink’, which Wu Tang conveniently pointed out ‘We NEVER go out for a quiet drink we always say we will but we just end up getting smashed’ and yes yes its true the student life stereotype is too strong to dismiss. So lets see….

Last night, last night (hold on……..sorry In all those dots I went for a poo – which is actually the second this afternoon…. Nice) well if Im going to tell this in a good story telling way then I have to first set the scene (thank you Primary seven)…

It was Veeman, Deeman, Leggmeister, Myself (F Diddy), Wu Tang and HIS HOE!!! Chloe.. sorry Chloe I love you but your at the end of a rapper stereotype for now. So we all started at lounge bar which was quite quiet although I remember talking to Leggat and Veeman about getting drunk on cheese because of ‘a shot of edam’ and a ‘double cheddar please mate’ – ok good so far. Then we moved on up to the sports bar which was good I remember Veeman being the most drunk repeatedly saying in a very surprised voice ’13 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER!’. Suuure Johnny V, 13…… ironically there Veeman has moved into our flat into Kenzie’s old room just so you know :D . Also saw ‘Rich’ who is a friend of my friend Mike and we all remember him for doing a distinctly nasty dirty pint, he did well (not last night – aages ago). I had my glasses on last night but usually wear contacts so when I said ‘Hi Rich’ he looked at me trying to figure out who I was – you know the face that you’d make if you saw a posh person fart – well he had it on… 10 minutes later “Oh Finlay! I remember now…”

Can’t really remember what happened after that although we went back to the flat and I forgot to say Matt and Craig from flat 1 were with us…. Duh finners. I remember having a very strong argument with them two about the fact you should ‘SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM’ which incidentally I apparently ALWAYS talk to taxi drivers about – our taxi driver last night I remember being good banter so kudos to him. Then the talk escalated into us actually going outside at like 4am to play ‘football’ although I don’t think you could have called it that. We also threw a lot of Veeman’s Bout it really but a good night nonetheless – me and Leggat will post up again soon.

LOVE YOU GUYS WHO READ THIS COS YOU MUST BE BORED AND WHOEVER GOT THE 200TH VIEWING JUST POST IN AND WE’LL E-MAIL YOU YOUR CAKE…

Below is a video of Veeman lying on Deeman’s bed (Deeman had gone to the bog AND Veeman crept into his room without him knowing)….. Enjoy…. It is funny as fuck…